I wrote this before COVID 19 entered our universe. Now, more than ever, you have my permission to TAKE TO THE FUCKING BED!!
Everyone has their own way of escaping from their lives now and then. I have friends who have a hard day at work and need a glass of wine to reset. I have another friend who curls up on the couch, watches mindless tv and eats an entire family pack of Oreos. We all need an escape from time to time. Some people do the healthy thing and go to the gym or journal their feelings. Not me. When a day kicks my ass, and by “day” I mean my beautiful family, I “take to the bed”. It’s the term my husband and I coined because I literally put on my pjs, wash my face, and get into my bed…whether it is 12pm, 3pm or 6pm. Some days I just have to call it. They have beaten me down. I give up. You win, I lose. I’m out. Thank you and good night.
This happens to me more often than I care to admit. The reasons, in detail, are different but the theme is the same. Being a mom can suck. Being a mom of children with adhd, autism, anxiety, sensory processing disorder, oppositional defiant disorder, and depression, can really suck ass. Some days, I rock it and other days, I fail terribly. But, unlike having a bad day at the office, I didn’t fail my boss; I failed my child. Disappointing a boss can never feel as bad as the pain associated with disappointing your child.
Most women with kids with invisible special needs believe the stakes are so high that failure will ruin a person: their person. One too many missteps by me, and my kid could be a pregnant teen or a drug addict. If I missed his occupational therapy this week, he could be behind on learning to manage his sensory overload. It’s not a report that can be fixed, or an excel spreadsheet that can be tweeked. It’s our children. And it is ALL.ON.US. That heavy weight is on Mom. Always.
It gets tiring and overwhelming. You know what helps me though? Taking to the bed or drinking a glass of wine listening to Norah Jones.
So, whether you are the wine drinker, the emotional binge eater, or the sleeper…it’s cool. No judgment here. You do what you need to do. Honestly, we all need and deserve a little pity party now and then. So, go for it.